My Hair is Black

Life has become placid again since returning to the land of opportunity, foreclosures and big giant banks crumbling before your very eyes. In Japan, i substituted fun for the lack of busy school work. Here, I'm always collecting the honey, and when i'm not doing that I just... sit down? stare at the computer screen hoping some nice discounted item will pop up on some retail website and I'll convince myself to buy it because its so CHEAP. Who doesn't like cheaper stuff? I'm a sucker for the sale section. Or I'm rumaging through library trash cans collecting coke points because I found out the night librarian is collecting them too and I want it to be a fully blown out coke cap collecting war. About the only thing that pushes me like nothing else is competition, and that librarian might well be the only reason i now am much more adamant about collecting than I was last week. What else do I do? I don't give or get hugs anymore. I went from one everyday, or more, to none. It's like smoking but imagine little blue smurfs coming up to steal your cigarette everytime you put one in your mouth. I'm also deciding whether I should go to China to study abroad or stay here in school for a bit longer, or just graduate and hope on finding a job in the desperate financial times that we live in. Oh my, what will my Chinese parents think when I haven't got a job when I graduate? And I'm going abroad again? Well, that I'm not too worried about, but, as most offer-less soon to be college graduates feel, its more the coming lack of academic structure that I haven't experience for 16 years, the lack of having something committal to do, and the uncertainty of the future that's screaming at me: do something, do anything.